Scleritis is an inflammation of the white
part of the eye (sclera). It may cause sight-threatening complications and affects
females more commonly than males in the fourth to sixth decades of life. It has
a tendency to recur. It is characterized by pain, which can be severe, redness,
tearing, and inflammation or surrounding tissues. Scleritis is often associated with a systemic
disease (e.g. rheumatoid arthritis, Wegener's granulomatosis). Treatment
includes topical and systemic steroids and immunosuppressive drugs for very
severe cases.
I have subsequently been tested for underlying systemic
diseases, but have not found one. I have been lucky enough to have been
referred to the leading Seattle specialist in this field and for the first
while was able to get the flares under control pretty well, although I have
been on predisone for over 2 years and the highest dose of an immunosuppressant
for 1.5 years.
Prednisone is a miracle drug and a devil drug at the same
time. It takes away inflammation like a dream, but causes horrible
side-effects. The worse side-effects for me are weight gain and puffiness, major
emotional disturbance, muscle weakness and joint pain, jitters and insomnia. Those things
combined lead to major bouts of depression and anxiety. The biggest problem is
that my very low daily dose of 5mg stopped working so I had to go to 10, which
evened out after a bit and was somewhat doable. Now the 10 is not working and I
am on a course of 20, hopefully only for a few days, then taper back down. The immunosuppressants
must have side-effects, too, but it’s hard to know because the pred masks
everything. My blood work every 6 weeks
has looked good so far, thank goodness.
I’ve gained back all the weight I lost in the contest. I’m
so ashamed and sad about this it is hard to write, but I need to just get it
out there. I couldn’t even do the contest now if I wanted to. We are moving
into our new house in two weeks and it’s hard to even be happy or excited when
I feel this low. I hope to be able to write a fun and positive post about that
soon.
My doctor wants to get me off the prednisone so the next
step is to try a different class of drug called biologics. It has to be
injected, which is freaking me out and is very expensive which hopefully is
covered by my insurance. I am not sure of the side-effects yet, although I have
read about some good and some bad reactions. I guess I need to get over my fears.
I am not writing this for sympathy. I just really needed to
write it all out. And maybe to explain that if I don’t seem like myself it is because I am not the Tracy I was
before. I told my sister-in-law a few weeks ago that prednisone has changed my
personality. I am not me anymore and it is a scary and hopeless feeling to be out of control like this. I hope
my family will stick it out with me because I can’t always play nice at home
like I can in public.
Now I just need to learn to inject myself with needles! Yikes.
